The Milestones That Keep Coming
By Martha McGeehon, Everly’s Mom
One of the many overlooked parts of child loss are the milestones that keep coming and the grief that comes along with them. Whether it be the missed birthdays or holidays or the big events like first days of school, proms, or graduations — with each missed milestone the waves of grief return.
The excitement of back to school season just hit a little different this year. This year Everly should be starting kindergarten. We should have been shopping for school supplies, meeting her teacher and new friends, prepping her to ride the bus and so much more. When I think about the first day of school this year and the pictures that weren’t taken and the hand that was not there to hold on the way to the bus stop it breaks my heart a little more. I once again found myself sitting in the AND. Excitement for our oldest to start 2nd grade AND sadness that we don’t get these milestones with her sister.
When we are told time will heal all wounds, the forgotten part of that statement is that with time comes the moments we don’t get to experience with our child. It’s all of the should have beens that make the wound impossible to heal. It’s a lifetime of milestones we don’t get to experience and the waves of grief we have to navigate for a lifetime.